So today when I came home from my obviously exhausting 4 hour shift at the Salvy, where I waddled around the store and played with a yoyo, I flopped on my bed to watch tv and promptly began to eat everything in sight. After sitting in my bed for so long in my work uniform, I finally got the strength to change into pajamas. When I took off my pants, I saw on the back there was a HUGE brown stain on it and I confusingly mistook it for me OBVIOUSLY pooping myself without noticing (DUUUUHHHH) and then I remembered, "Oh wait! I ate like 10 chocolates! I must have sat on one

*checks bed just in case* YEP, there's where that almond kiss went

" So the moral of the story is I can't lose weight to save my life.
Random Fact: The heart of an astronaut actually gets smaller when in outer space.